I am so confused! PLEASE help me!?

last night i was really upset, over nothing really.. and i ended up getting drunk and i wrote this message. i dont normally drink when im upset but it all got too much for me to handle.


i dont even remember writing it but its my handwriting and it was in my room..:





My hurricane is way to fast.. cut me some slack. every person that i look at knows who they is and i dont. Because i wont ever have my dream. Every pulse in me knows what i need to be. My head is bent up. Wherever it takes me belongs to a cemetery fighting wounds. I am fighting the wounds that i dont have.. You cant light what is not there.





When will i stop and give up? Down the slipway where no one looks there is someone else but i dont know who that is either. I just cant do that. Someday maybe they wont be there anymore. But i dont want them to come back. Who the **** am i? Why cant i face the reality of what i am? Please come back to me. Who am i to change a thing.





%26quot;whatever you do, you know, the world it keeps on turning%26quot;.





i want to stop what its doing to me. What will it do to me later and next? My profile is all lies and i know it. So do you. why does my share always have less. I deserve less but how does other people know that? You cant be something that you are not. You are who you are but i%26#039;ve never met myself propperly.





I want to die. I want to but i am scared of what i will leave behind. Behind me there is things. You cannot leave what you have. I have tried, you cant go that easy. You cant ******* escape.


You cant just try. WHen you try and fail, your secret is gone and your ******* trapped. You have to succeed. There is no other way. You canot sit and watch yourself die slowly, you have to decide. You die the moment you lose the will to live? I AM ******* DEAD THEN. when am i gone?





i want to do this, please let me go.. let me slip away. PLEASE when i am gone, no one will know. I will understand. So will you. Maybe tomorrow will never come. If it does then please tell me how to live.. How? i need help! please help me. I dont know how to ask. i dont know how to ask because i dont know what i need help with. i need you! when will you come?











i dont know what it means.. please help me! what should i do! i am 14..|||You seem to be suffering from a brain Chemistry Imbalance, you need to see a doctor.


The Body/Brain Chemistry, goes through an evolution as we evolve from teen to adult.


It can evolve differently, with each person.


You do not like the environment that your psyche is in , and you are attempting to change it by Self Medication - Booze or Drugs. these chemicals, just further distort your brain chemistry, and prevent the brain chemistry from performing their intended function in an appropriate manner.


You are suffering a degree of depression, the side effects of which, can be controlled to an acceptable level Record your Sober thoughts, let your doctor read them, with these the Doctor is better able to determine your level of depression, and prescribe an appropriate medication.


It does get Better.


You are Not Alone put %26quot;Famous People and Depression%26quot; in your search engine..|||you wont like hearing this but i think that you might need some help, family arnt always the best option because they freak out so much but maybe ask a close friend or go to the school councilor or something.